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About Jesus - Steve Sweetman Chapters 7
Paul
continues on with the theme of sexual relations between a man and a woman.
In this chapter he is responding to questions that the
Corinthians have asked him. He
says, “now concerning the matters you wrote about”.(ch. 7:1) The
NIV goes on to say, “it is good for a man not to marry”. The KJV says,
“it is good for a man not to touch a woman.”.
Why is there a difference between the two translations.
The difference appears to be in the translation of the Greek word
“hapto”. This word means more than simply touching someone.
It means “to fasten to, or “to attach to”, or ‘to cling
to”. If Paul was simply
thinking about touching a woman he would have used a different word. Therefore
the writers of the NIV believe that Paul is speaking about a man and a
woman attaching themselves together in marriage.
Also the context of chapter 7 suggests that Paul is speaking about
marriage, and not simply touching a woman, or not having sexual relations
with a woman. Paul
at the time of his writings was single.
Some suggest that he might have been married at one time prior to
his conversion, but that is speculation.
Paul believed that all men would do better single in order to
devote themselves solely to Jesus. We
will see this later. But at
the same time he knew that in the beginning God made man for woman and
woman for man. So he suggests
that if you cannot handle being single, you should marry.
You are doing nothing wrong by finding a wife or a husband.
Paul
therefore says that because of all the immorality that was in In
verse 5 Paul says that husbands and wives “should not deprive themselves
of each other except for mutual consent...".
Why did he say this? Because
he tells his readers that a man’s body belongs to his wife as well as to
himself. Also the wife’s
body belongs to the husband as well as herself.
Paul is saying that sex is a real part of marriage. It is my
thinking that God made sex to produce children as well as to be a
pleasurable experience between a man and his wife.
It is also my thinking that the pleasure that a husband and wife
has in marriage is a picture of what can happen between Christians and the
Lord, both individually and collectively as the church. I
also see the sexual unity between a husband and wife as a type of worship
between us and God. In sexual
union there is an entering of each others personal space, a place where no
one else goes. This process
breaks down barriers between the husband and wife, just as worship breaks
down barriers between us and Jesus.
After
this Paul says that if both parties consent for a while not to participate
in sexual relations, maybe for prayer, as he says, “then come
together”. Paul tells
couples not to withhold sexual relations from each other for too long
“so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self
control”. The simple fact is
that if a man and woman cannot find sexual pleasure in their marriage they
will be tempted by Satan to find it elsewhere.
In
verse 7 Paul admits by saying all of what he has just said is a
“concession, not a command”. He
is not commanding men and women to marry.
He is conceding to the fact that men and women should marry to
avoid sexual immorality. He is
conceding, because if he had his way, “all men would be as I am” (ch.
7:7) Paul also concedes that
“each man has his own gift from God”
The “gift of singleness” is a gift from God. In
my thinking, it is just as much a sin to withhold sex from your spouse as
it is to commit adultery Concerning
this gift of singleness, I can remember in my own youth many of us asking
whether we had this gift or not. One
of my You
can see in verse 8 and 9 that Paul has a hard time getting away from this
idea of singleness. He says,
“now to the unmarried and widows; It is good for them to remain
unmarried as I am. But if they
cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry
than to burn with passion”. Once
again Paul is extolling the virtues of singleness.
This is his choice for his life and he thinks it is a good idea for
others. Yet if you cannot
control your passion, then you should get married.
It is better to get married than live your life burning sexually.
In
verse 10 Paul gives a command, not a concession as he just did.
He also says that this is the Lord’s command, not his.
The command is this, “a wife must not separate herself from her
husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled
to her husband. And a husband
must not divorce his wife”. According
to what Paul says here, divorce is not an option for a man or a woman.
This is not the whole story on this subject though.
Paul elaborates later, and there are also other Scriptures that
shed light on this subject. But
according to these verses Paul says that God wants men and women to remain
married and not be separated and divorced.
Yet
note that Paul says that if you do separate, don’t get remarried.
Is he saying that remarriage in this instance is compounding the
sin? Leaving is one thing, but
remarrying is another thing. It
is clear by these words as well as other Scriptures that God does not like
divorce and it should be our intent as Christians to be married to the
same person for life. That is
God’s desire and plan, and His plans always work best.
Now
in verse 12 Paul is speaking, not the Lord.
He is telling the Corinthian men that if they have an unbelieving
wife and she is willing to live with him as a Christian, he should not
divorce her. I am sure that
this subject had risen in their church as it does in all churches.
It would be an obvious question to ask when one spouse becomes a
Christian and the other doesn’t. How
can the two be properly united when they are dividing on such an important
issue. Paul simply tells them
to stay together. Paul
goes on to tell the women the same thing.
What applies to the men, also applies to the women. Why does Paul
say this? His reason for this
is that the unbelieving spouse “is sanctified” because of the
believing spouse. Does this
mean that the unbelieving partner is a Christian?
No it doesn’t mean that at all.
The unbelieving partner is sanctified, which means separated unto
the Lord. It means that while
still in the marriage relation the unbeliever is like one set apart from
others, who have the opportunity to become a believer.
Paul says this later in verse 16. The
next verse is interesting. Paul
has just said that if you stay with the unbelieving partner, then that
partner is sanctified. If that
was not the case then their “children would be unclean, but as it is,
they are holy”. Now what
does this mean? Are children
saved because they have one saved parent?
This can’t be, or else there would be more than one way to be
saved. One way would be to
trust Jesus, and the other way would be for you to be fortunate enough to
have at least one Christian parent. We
know from Scripture that this cannot be. I
don’t believe Paul would think that a child could find salvation, or
holiness outside of the cross of Christ.
If you understand his letter to the Romans, and other comments that
he makes concerning the means of salvation, this cannot be.
So we need to try to understand these words in that light.
It is my thinking that in
the same way that an unbelieving spouse is sanctified, or separated in a
special place because of the believing partner, so the children are also
raised in this special place of blessing.
Both the unbelieving spouse and children have a better chance of
becoming a Christian because of the believing father or mother.
It does not mean he or she is already
a Christian. I
believe, somewhat by experience that children when living in a Christian
home experience the benefits of their parents faith, or trust in Jesus.
When walking with Jesus as parents, we do benefit, and we are
blessed. As long as the
children are in the confines of the home, they share in these blessings,
but once they leave the home, they are on their own.
If they want the same blessings, then they need to follow Jesus as
their parents do. Children
born to Christian parents are very blessed. What
Paul says in verse 15 is important. He
says that “if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so”.
Paul is saying that you should not beg him to stay.
From your heart just let the unbeliever go. Let
him or her go physically and emotionally.
This may not be easy, but once the unbeliever leaves and the sooner
the believer can let the person leave, the sooner peace will return to his
or her life. “Letting go”,
is extremely important if you find yourself in this situation. Paul
says that we as Christians “are not bound in such circumstances”.
Why is this so? Because
“God has called us to live in peace”, he says in verse 15.
Paul knows, like many of us that there is no real peace between a
husband and wife when one is a believer and the other is not, especially
when there are other problems in the marriage.
Basically, Paul is
saying to sacrifice yourself and stay with the unbeliever for their
benefit, not yours. Maybe he
or she will become a Christian because of you.
But if the unbeliever leaves, take the opportunity to be freed from
the bondage of that relationship. In
verse 16 we see Paul telling us the reason why he suggests for the
believer to stay with the unbeliever as I have just mentioned.
It would be the best and easiest way for that person to find Jesus.
So
to sum up what Paul has said thus far.
He has said, as far as he is concerned, remain single.
Yet if this is not possible, you should be married and engage in
sexual relations with your spouse. Also, once married, don’t divorce
your spouse, even if he or she is not a believer, yet if the unbelieving
partner wants to leave, then let him or her go so you can live in peace,
because God has called us to peace. After
saying all of this, Paul in
verse 17 says, “nevertheless each one should remain in the place in life
that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.
This is the rule I lay down in every church”.
Paul was often criticized for preaching a gospel of no rules, a
gospel of grace. You can
clearly see here that this was not the case.
Yet, these rules did not have anything to do with a person’s
salvation. They were rules
relating to having a healthy marriage and a healthy church. This
is what Paul taught in all of the churches he had influence over. One
example of this rule concerned circumcision. If when a man was first saved
he was uncircumcised, there is no reason why he should get circumcised.
Why does Paul say this? Because
“circumcision is nothing and uncircumcision is nothing.
Keeping God’s commands is what counts.
In
verse 20 Paul repeats himself by saying that “each person should remain
in the situation when God called him”.
Another example that Paul uses is in conjunction with slavery.
If you were a slave when you became a Christian, don’t be
bothered by that. Stay a slave, and don’t try to be free, unless you are
granted freedom. Besides,
“you are the Lord’s freedman”. And
even if you aren’t a slave, as a Christian, “you are the Lord’s
slave”. So either way, you
are both free and a bond servant to Jesus. So
what does this mean to us today?
If we are a businessman for example when we get saved, we should
remain a business man. We
don’t have to become a preacher, unless God decides for you to make the
change. Whatever situation you find yourself in, remain in it. In
verse 24 Paul says that “you have been bought at a price, do not become
slaves of men”. I don’t
believe that Paul is speaking about slavery at this point.
I believe he is speaking of being in religious bondage to man or
his rules. Why do I say this?
Because in the next sentence he says that we are “responsible to
God”. We will have to give
account of our lives to God in the long run, not to any man.
Therefore we should live accordingly, and remain in the place where
“God has called him to”. Throughout
this chapter Paul has been going back and forth from the Lord’s commands
and his concessions or suggestions. He
is now back to his ideas, although he qualifies what he says by saying
“I give a judgement as one by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy”. (ch.
7:25) His judgement in this
paragraph is directed towards virgins.
He suggests that they “should remain as they are” (ch. 7:26)
and that is single. This has been Paul’s preference all along.
Over
the centuries there has been some debate concerning the virgin that Paul
is speaking about. Some have
said that this virgin is actually a girl already in a marital
relationship but has refrained from sexual activity, most likely
for spiritual reasons. Yet it
seems more likely that Paul is
speaking to unmarried virgins. There
would be natural concerns for fathers in Paul’s day who had older
unmarried daughters. This was
considered a disgrace to them. So
Paul suggests that these virgins remain single.
But he goes on to say that if you are married you should not seek a
divorce, and if you are single you should not seek to be married.
Yet if you do marry you have not sinned.
It is very clear that marriage was God’s original intention for
men and women, therefore it could not be a sin. In verse 28 he gives his
reason for this. He says
“those who marry will face
many troubles in life, and I want to spare you of this".
Was Paul speaking from experience?
We don’t know. He
could have been speaking from what he observed.
Now
after making this statement it looks like Paul had an afterthought that he
needs to express by saying, “what I mean, brother, is that the time is
short…” Paul is basically
saying the time is short, Jesus’ return might be soon,
and therefore we should devote ourselves fully to Him.
He even goes as far to say that “those who have a wife should
live as though they had none”. (ch.
7:29) I am not sure what the
wife would think of this. It
would definitely have to be a joint decision based on what Paul has
already said. Concerning
the words "time is short". I've
suggested that this is in reference to the return of Christ, but that
might not necessarily be the case. Paul
does not say what he means. Time
for Christian freedom in those days might be short because of impending
Roman persecution. Paul
himself was killed not many years after this.
I'm not convinced that Paul felt Jesus would return in his
lifetime. There are some
statements that he makes that suggest otherwise.
All
of what Paul says in verses 29 to 31 is summed up by his words that
“this world in its present form is passing away”.
He does not say that the world will pass away but it is in the
process of passing away right now. Paul
may be suggesting that the world is in decline and will end in the return
of Christ. For this reason, we
should not devote ourselves too much to the world.
We have better things to pay attention to.
This makes me wonder how much time Christians should be spending on
certain environmental issues these days when our world will be destroyed
anyway and rebuilt by the Lord.
In
verse 32 Paul shares his heart to these people.
He wants them to “be free from concern”, and to fully be
devoted to Jesus. When a man
or a woman is married they have many marital concerns to deal with.
When you are single, you only have to worry about yourself and
fully give yourself to the things of God.
In verse 34 he says that a married man’s “interests are
divided”. He needs to please
his wife as well as please the Lord. Paul
is not only addressing men. What
he has just said to men he also says to the virgin.
His desire for them is to give themselves to Jesus “in body and
spirit”. (ch. 7:34) Paul
tells these ladies that they will have to please their husbands, just as
he told the men that they would have to please their wives. He says to the
virgins in verse 35, “I am saying this for your good, not to restrict
you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the
Lord”. So what Paul has just
told the men, he now tells the women. In
verse 36 Paul says, “if anyone thinks he is acting improperly towards
the virgin he is engaged to…” Once
again there has been two thoughts on this verse.
One thought is that Paul is speaking of a man and his daughter.
I feel that he is speaking about a man and his girlfriend as many
others do. The NIV uses the
phrase “engaged to”. This
phrase is not really in the original text.
The original text reads “the virgin of him”, not “the virgin
he is engaged to”. You can
see how the NIV translators come up with the idea of engagement though.
What I believe Paul is saying in this paragraph is that if a man
has a girlfriend and he thinks he is beginning to act in an immoral way
towards her, he should marry her and not sin. He is not sinning by marring
his girlfriend. He would sin
if he carried out the sexual activities that may be in his heart. This
would especially be true if the girl was “getting along in years” as
the NIV says. “Huperakmos”
is the Greek word that is
translated as “along in years”. This
word is made up of two Greek words; to go beyond, and the full bloom of a
flower”. You could easily
say that if a lady is past the full bloom of life, and if you are acting
improperly towards her, then you should marry her.
If you chose to leave her, because she is past the bloom of life,
she may never have another chance to be married. Yet
in verse 37 Paul says that if this man can control himself then he can
remain single and he does the “right thing”.
Paul concludes in verse 38 that “ he who marries the virgin does
right, but he who does not marry does even better”.
Once again, Paul’s preference of singleness comes through loud
and clear. The
only question that I have at this point is this.
If the man who decides to have a girl friend and not marry her,
what is his obligation to her? Why
have a girlfriend when there is no intent to marry her?
This may be one reason why some feel the man in this instance is
really the virgin’s father who would give the virgin to a man in
marriage. Still it is not my
thinking that Paul is speaking of this kind of situation.
In
verse 39 Paul gives a command. He
says that as long as a woman is married and her husband is alive she is
bound to him. This command he
gives, because this is the Lord’s command as earlier stated.
But if her husband dies, then she is free to marry anyone she
wishes. There is only one
stipulation and that is he must be “in the Lord.
He must be a Christian. Paul
does not give any further advise to a woman who is seeking a husband.
He doesn’t even say that she should seek the Lord on this issue.
Only that the man must be a Christian.
Yet
even after saying this to the widow Paul tells her that she would do
better if she remained single. Paul believes he can say this with
confidence “because I too (as he puts it) have the Spirit of God”.
(ch. 7:40) Concerning
marriage and weddings. Some
over the years claim that living together is considered a marriage in the
eyes of the Lord, and therefore a formal ceremony is not required.
Yet in Paul’s mind when he uses the word married (Greek “gamos”)
in this chapter, he is referring to an actual ceremony including a feast
that would be part of the celebration.
I say this because of the meaning of the word “gamos”, which
includes a major celebration along with the ceremony.
A wedding in Paul’s day was a much bigger event than it is in our
day. Therefore when Paul uses
the word “married” he is not talking about some private agreement
between two people. In his
mind, he would have thought about a major celebration.
One
thing that Christians should now begin to think about in the twenty first
century when marriage laws are changing to includes same-sex marriages is
to really understand what marriage is in the eyes of the state.
It now has a completely different meaning to what it once meant.
Marriage in many places is not a Biblical marriage and Christians
may need to rethink a wedding that is legalized by the state. Some
pastors today are no longer using a legal marriage license to perform a
wedding. They do lead the
couple through the vows before the Lord, but they don't want to be
associated with a watered down and illegitimate marriage act.
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