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My Journey Through The Ecclesiastical Maze

Part 20

Some Practicalities of Shepherding
 

Shortly after we first got acquainted with shepherding, I headed off to Elim Bible Institute in Lima , New York .  The year was 1975.  Elim is both a Pentecostal/Charismatic Bible College and a fellowship of related churches and ministries scattered throughout the world.  It has been in existence since 1924.     

 

There are a few important highlights for me from my Bible college days, not the least of which was meeting my first wife, by whom I have two great sons.  Beyond this, I benefited from the variety of students I met who had different backgrounds than me. Of course we all held the basic tenants of faith in common, but when it came to secondary issues, there was room for disagreement.  One group I gained respect for was those with a Mennonite background.  They were well grounded, humble and sincere about their lives in Jesus.

 

The variety was apparent among teachers as well. This might have been confusing for some, but not for me.  I thoroughly enjoyed hearing something taught by one teacher and then hearing the opposite taught by another.  This gave me the opportunity to hear both sides on an issue so I could come to my own conclusions after much thought and study.  This seldom happens in our churches.  It’s often the “embrace our teaching or move on” mentality that prevails in many modern churches, and for this I was once “deleaderized”.

 

Among the subjects that fostered differing opinions at Bible College was shepherding.  This caused a raging debate on campus, and I do mean raging.  O yes, I do recall another debate as well.  The question was raised concerning Jimmy Carter - whether Christians should vote for him for President of the United States just because he was a Christian. 

 

While I was at college my friends back home decided to submit themselves to shepherding leadership.  This meant that a man named Jim Covert and his family moved from Virginia to Canada to shepherd some of us.    In January 1977, just before Jim moved to Canada , I went to visit him and his Northern Virginia fellowship called “The House of Bread”.  My three week visit was a college work-placement, and was my practical introduction to shepherding.

 

In June of 1977 I returned to Canada and was married.  My wife and I were placed under Jim’s care and authority.  Before I go farther, and because I mention Jim’s name, I just want to say, Jim was a very loving, kind and down to earth guy.  He had a disarming personality that enabled him to solve relational problems between people.  

 

So this is the question.  What did “being placed under someone’s care and authority mean”?  The term “submission and authority” was well used back then.  Our pastor, or shepherd was seen as God’s man to “speak into our lives”, another well used phrase.  If this man was God’s choice to lead us, then we should seriously consider what he had to say.  That meant a good measure of submission to our shepherd on our part.  This is what scared many critics of shepherding.  Let me say this.  For the most part, I experienced no dictatorial abuse from anyone I was placed under.  I’m not saying that abuse never happened within the movement because it did.  Problems did arise because of leaders with little maturity and Biblical understanding. 

 

A Biblical fact needs to be made at this point.  In the New Testament, the words shepherd, pastor and elder are used interchangeably.  This means that an elder is the same as a shepherd or pastor.  Inherent in the word “elder” is the idea of an older, mature man.  Thus when thinking of a shepherd or a pastor, part of his qualification is to be an older, mature man, or at least the emphasis should be on “mature”.  I’ll let you figure out how old an “older” man is.  In many cases this qualification was overlooked in the Shepherding Movement.  It’s also overlooked in the church at large.   

 

The one over us would not merely teach us Biblical precepts.  In my opinion, many of the younger leaders weren’t qualified to teach anyway.  Most Bible teaching was done in public meetings, and as often is the case in churches, there was more preaching than teaching.  What the shepherds did do was attempt to care for us in personal life issues.  This is another area where critics had problems with shepherding.   

 

These life issues could include such things as, family finances, children, and husband and wife relationships, including sexual issues.  Some of the input we received was valuable, yet sometimes it crossed the line of privacy and was intrusive, resulting in other problems.  Although the critics often pointed out that we needed permission from our shepherds to buy a new couch, that never was the case in my experience, but I do know such things happened in some places.     

 

I’m not discounting the claims by some that they suffered mental or emotional abuse at the hands of an over-authoritarian shepherd, but I didn’t  suffer such abuse. As I said earlier, the important thing for me was the “horizontal relationships” I built with people. I admit that I did experience some subtle, and even not so subtle pressure to submit at times.  That seemed manageable for me back then.  I might not feel the same way today now that I’m older, wiser, more vocal, and of course, more set in my ways. 

 

One not so subtle time of pressure for me was when we lived in Virginia .  I was backed into a literal corner by two leaders who happened to be  my friends.  While sitting in this corner and looking out at them I was pressured to submit myself to one of them.  I was told that I had sat on the side-line long enough and it was now time to “make covenant” and submit to personal pastoral care.  I’ll spend more time on covenant later, but for now let me just say that I did not believe in, and I still don’t believe in making personal covenants with other Christians.  And for the record, the national leadership of shepherding didn’t promote such covenant making either.  So I made a point of this covenant thinking to those farther up the chain of authority.  After we got this covenant thing fixed, I did come under the pastoral care of my friend, but it had nothing to do with making a covenant.     

 

Speaking of Virginia , I’ll close this chapter by telling you how I ended up in Virginia .  Our shepherd Jim decided to return to Virginia in 1980.  He felt that it would be good for my wife and I to move to Virginia with him and his family. Many people followed their pastors back then when they made such a move.  Now, we weren’t forced to move.  It wasn’t a pastoral command, and it didn’t have to be.  The underlying and unspoken understanding was to submit to our leader.  So it was our decision to make, but a decision based on the underlying understanding of submission.  And, if for some reason the decision didn’t work out, well, we were reminded that it was our decision, not our shepherd’s decision.  That always seemed a little too convenient on the part of the shepherd in my thinking. 

 

We packed up our possessions and moved south.  That was a sad day for me.  The three things I missed most upon leaving were, my city, my friends, and Montreal Expo baseball.  At least I got to talk baseball with my good friend Bill Freeman, who was also my  boss at work in Richmond , Virginia .  We actually stopped work one autumn day in 1981 to watch the Expos lose to the Dodgers in the final and deciding seventh game of the National League playoffs.  Rick Monday’s home run in the bottom of the ninth inning sent the Expos home. It also sent my heart to the depth of despair.  We got one hit away from the World Series.  Well, it’s a famous homerun for Expo fans, but maybe not for you.  I’m sure Bill remembers that home run.  He became an Expo fan for a few brief days back then.  And let me just add this, Bill was one of the guys who cornered me that day, whom I ended up being placed under.  Although I have not seen him since 1986, he is a great friend and will be throughout eternity.  When the Toronto Blue Jays first won the World Series in 1992, he was the first person to call me and congratulate me on our victory.  This is why I say, “even though I did not fully support shepherding as being scriptural, I thoroughly benefited from the relationships”, and Bill was one such person.  Scripturally speaking, personal relationships are what church is all about, but it’s not necessarily so in the ecclesiastical maze.        

 

I didn’t fully anticipate the sadness that swept over me as we left Richmond , Virginia . We moved back to Canada with our newly born son in 1984.  As I write these words, playing in the background is Bruce Springsteen’s version of  “Shenandoah”.  That song always reminds me of the rolling hills and misty valleys of southern Virginia as seen from Monticello , the homestead of President Thomas Jefferson.       

 

We left Canada for Virginia in the first place partly out of submission to our pastor.  But to be fair, we also left because we were young and thought we’d enjoy the change.  I certainly got to see and do many things I wouldn’t have otherwise experienced, and for that I’m grateful. 

 

As I think back on these things, I’m not convinced our move to the U.S. was the will of the Lord or the will of man, and uncertainty can certainly cause problems at times.  The important thing to remember here is that some day we’ll stand before our Lord Jesus Christ and answer to Him, and not our pastor. 

 

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